Letter from Berni

In these weeks and days I feel as if I were in a terrible nightmare. I can't admit to myself and realize that Ken passed away. I always believed he can't die. I must know what happened, but I can't accept it in my heart.

I remember, when we met in Budapest and after that, when we got to know each-other better and better every day. We shared all our thoughts, sad and happy experiences, dreams with each-other. He was a real soul mate, a dear friend to me and after that more. He was, like a candle with strong light, that gave me shelter, warmth and strength. I became an adult with him, he showed me another world. He was so wise and intelligent. He enjoyed being with people and getting to know foreign cultures and travel all over the world. I was lucky to explore a small part of the world with him. He said we are bohemians and that's why we could understand each-other perfectly. He always said he cares about me and my future.

I did never laugh as much as with him, but I could know his serious part too.

He told me so many times how much he loves the whole family and your children. Both our families were and are very important to us.

As I said to him he'll always be a part of my life, because as St. Augustinus said: "The love that passes has never been real.".

Now there are no words the express my sorrow and isn't enough time to accept his tragedy. It would be fantastic to see him once more again and to tell him how important he was in my life.

Anyway I know he cares about us and I see his face, smile and warm eyes before me. He is still with me. His memories are in my heart and no one can take this away from me. I loved him very much and I'll never forget him.

I hope heaven is much more beautiful, than anything else we can imagine on this earth.

I'll be with all of you in spirit on Saturday and wish you strength. My prayers and thoughts are with the family now and in the future.

The only Hungarian he learnt from me was Vigyázz Magadra(Take care) and I say now Vigyázz Magadra Moosch (I used his nick-name)!

With lots of love:

Bernadette Tósoky